Thursday, October 27, 2005

A Paleographical Snapshot

Each week in paleography, we take turns around the table to read out a line or two of the transcription that we have been set while double marking for our neighbours' assignment. What this amounts to is you indicating the copious errors of the classmate on your right while surreptitiously attempting to angle your neck towards the classmate on your left in order to see whether you got it right or wrong, and to make sure that it isn't marked wrong when it is actually right. All this means that people are not paying much attention to the paper in front of them because they are far more concerned with the paper next to them, their own. This slow, and often embarrassing, process allows me time to consider my classmates. Most of them are doing a Medieval History MLitt together, so they know one another. I, being an outsider don't know anyone.

There is John who has an appallingly American accent which is particularly difficult to listen to when he is reading Latin. Next to John, Alan, who sounds very uncertain about his sentence, and mutters because of this. I never know what he said, and so don't mark anything on my paper. A freebee for whoever's assignment I have! There are a couple of uninteresting American boys next. Then Mark who sounds intelligent but is always wearing slightly rumpled rugby jerseys which confuses me. Then the tall young Irish man, complete with red hair and Arran sweater. He always seems to be figuring out his sentence on the spot, and yet he is usually right. Then Peter, an English fellow with a good sense of humour and a willingness to make suggestions in those awkward spaces after the professor has asked a question to which no one knows the answer. I am grateful to Peter for this service. Then Gerald. Gerald is usually right. I know because I usually mark his paper. But he is VERY annoying about it. He is one of those people who always thinks they have something interesting (at least HE thinks it's interesting), relevant (or so HE thinks), and informative (Ha!) to relate after every comment in a conversation. And he does this at break in the class. This usually has the effect of killing the tentative, casual camaraderie that had been present in the room before. Also, he breathes in in a pompous sort of fashion before correcting other people in the room. I am sure that this is involuntary but I still hate it. I always want to put pink marks all over his page; I am sure he is the sort of person who would not be able to handle this. Then me. I am the Other Girl in the class. I am usually 50% right which is fine with me, my grades don't count. After me is The Girl. She is a plain, friendly (American) girl who doesn't seem to cope too well with one of the nasty facts of Paleography; if you don't know Latin as though it were your first language, you're probably more wrong than right. (Gerald is an insufferable exception). Then James, another English boy with a very odd fashion sense who has a super educated accent, but is not better at Paleography than I am. And last, out professor. A Canadian woman with an unfortunate passion for hideous dresses and a strange sense of humour who is always making cultural references that the North Americans get, but leave the British momentarily confused. She is cheerfully and easily genius at paleography, which is naturally is a bit of a damper for us who worked so hard and got it so wrong.

Since this is one of only two classes that I have, this time in the presence of other people (albeit strangers) is nice, though intimidating. I think I am forgetting how to talk!

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

The Five W's etc for God

1. Did creation only take seven days? And if it did, was it for entertainment's sake that you included dinosours and other evolutionary clues?
2. How long would it take an apple tree to produce a Red Delicious if it was left completely alone?
3. Why are people so perverse?
4. What did come first - the chicken or the egg?
5. Was there really a St. Ursula if so, how did she know that her 11,000 Virgins were virginal?
6. Who are responsible for the expressions "it's a dog's life" and "it's a dog eat dog world"?
7. Where is heaven actually? Do planes give it noise pollution?
8. How often is there a blue moon?
9. When did Gengis Khan first get the idea? Did he have a nice home life?
10. Did St Erasmus really have his intestine wound up on a distaff?
11. What did people think of Tamar and Bathsheba on Jesus' geneology?
12. Did Martha ever get her own back?

Monday, October 24, 2005

A Grim Day and a Grimmer Gift

Today the weather was perfectly hideous. There was a head wind in all directions at once, and the rain gave up all pretence of coming down and gave itself whole heartedly to the task of blowing up and sideways. Latin was most confusing and the afternoon was spent in futile paleographical contemplation of various illegible marks and what they revealed about the intent of a long dead scribe. I devoted the latter part of the afternoon to preparing grant and fellowship applications; a tedious (and slightly degrading) task at the best of times.

However, during the walk home, the day began to redeem itself. I listened to the Goldberg Variations (which are just excellent for walking) with great enjoyment, marred only by the intrusion of traffic noises into my beautiful soundspace. The rain had stopped and the wind died down, and the night became warm and perfect for sauntering. And then I arrived home. I had received A Package! It was a Great Surprise! I was Not Expecting it! It was an entirely uncalled for gift. A Marvelously Morose gift! A Deliciously Depressing gift! A Super, Splendid, Serendipitous gift!

I am completely delighted!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Bother.

I hate crying. I don't understand what people mean when they say having a "good cry" can make you feel better. I hate the nose running. I hate the head-stuffed-with-cotton feeling. I hate the puffed-up-eye feeling. I hate the eye-ball burning. I hate how these things linger long after you've finished actual crying. I hate the strange fragile feeling I get when I cry, as though I might shake apart if I move too much. I hate the light-headedness, the thick-throatedness, the swollen glands, the deadened perceptions, the distant emotions, and the inertia. I can hardly feel, let alone feel better. I just HATE crying.

MSN Chatter

At a time when I spend most of my days in silence , and most of that time alone, the chirp of an incoming MSN message seems loud. Clicking keys become chatter, and the blinking orange window like someone touching my arm to get my attention. And when everyone is gone about their business again, the silence, which was never broken, seems larger. And the solitude, which never ceased, is heavier.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

A First

Yesterday I experienced a first. I dreamt something so funny that I laughed out loud and woke up. I hardly ever laugh out loud even in waking life! And the event that caused such mirth? I was dancing the Lindy Hop when suddenly, just like in cartoons, a round black hole appeared and I danced *sloop* straight into it. It makes me laugh even now.

Monday, October 17, 2005

An intolerable knowledge of Latin

I wore a sweater and scarf today,
my shadow wore a doublet and ruff.
I added some mitts to complete the ensemble;
my shadow suggested a muff.

I went to a lecture in Latin today
and while I understood not a word,
my shadow appeared quite attentive to it
and understood all that he heard.

I attended a sem'nar in medieval art
which I enjoyed quite a bit.
My shadow complained, ''Tis too arte nouveau" :
it was all he could do just to sit.

The church bells rang six as I passed them tonight
and faded away into whispers,
My Shadow recalled the hour they marked,
and recited his aves for Vespers.

His piety, learning, complaints about art -
along with his calling me dowdy,
have contributed all to a rather long day.
I hope that tomorrow is cloudy.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

AAhaahahaha

A day of gleeful defiance! I wore no socks all day. NO SOCKS AT ALL!

Friday, October 14, 2005

My walk home

My walk home from the Art History building is long. Here is what it is like.

When I come out of the Art History building I note with satisfaction that it is a handsome building. As I pass the gate I wonder why They have chosen to place such ugly sculptures in the pretty walled garden beside the attractive Art History Building. I cross the Scores admiring the Logic and Philosophy buildings and St. Katherine's Lodge, which houses Modern History. I walk up my favourite lane, Butts Wynd, and think about the excellentness of the name Butts Wynd. I wonder whether it is 'wined' or 'wind'. I chuckle at the ramifications of Butts Wind and decide in favour of 'wined' as the other is too amusing to be a real street name. I peer through the archway that leads to the College quadrangle as I pass. Butts Wynd comes out at North street next to the Reception building. I quickly scan my brain for reasons why I would need to go into Reception. Have I paid all my fees? Matriculated? Yes. All is well.

I cross the street and decide on College Street to get me up to Market street. I always decide on College Street though there are other options. College Street has no cars and is cobbled. I watch in fascination as various elegant girls in stiletto heeled boots teeter up the street attempting to avoid having the heels stick in a gap between cobbles. I look at the tiny French restaurant midway up the street and think it looks Very Bohemian. I arrive at Market Street.

Market Street, though a main-ish road, is also cobbled. Everything rattles down towards the end, especially the double decker buses, which sound like they make rumble into small pieces. I walk on the right side of the street past the Costas with it's nice coffee smell until I get to the part of Market Street that is one way. I am less nervous here of getting run over by feral cars, so I cross. On a usual day I wander down the street to the Tesco where I enter a different universe. More about Tesco at another time. When I emerge, slightly disoriented, from the Tesco I usually continue down to Bell Street and turn up towards South Street, the third and final main street in St. Andrews. (It is possible to keep on Market Street, but then I would have to pass the Student Union, which I don't like, so I usually avoid this route.)

Bell street is narrow but heavily trafficked with a surprising number of charity shops. All the buildings seem tall. All the cars seem fast. I hurry to get to South street. My feet begin to notice their over use.

South street is a gracious avenue. I turn down an head toward the medieval city wall Gate that only lets one car at a time through the arch from the roundabout beyond. I pass the bakery where I say to myself firmly that I have plenty of food at home. Still, I take smaller steps while in front of the window full of nice things. One day I might need something in there and it is best to be apprised of the contents of the bakery in preparation for that day. Soon I pass through the smaller arched gate in the city wall. There is a sign here about how this is one of the few remaining city walls in Scotland. The sign is obviously for tourists so I make a point of never slowing down to read it. Then no one can tell I too am a tourist. I cast covert glances at it reading a bit more each day as I pass.

Now I am at the roundabout. I make sure to be on the left side of the road because it is easier to cross there. With great concentration and bravery I cross the road without getting run over. I reach Argyle Road safely.
The walk is beginning to seem long, and I think my knapsack has become heavier in the last few minutes. I regret the purchases made in Tesco (for various reasons).

Argyle Road is fairly uninteresting. I am on the right side still, which means that soon the sidewalk will become too narrow for me with my grocery bags. I will have to walk on the road for a few steps until it widens out again. This is because of a long, old, low house that is right next to the street. I wonder sometimes if it is noisy living there. Also I wonder where their front door is, how long it has been there, whether people stop and peer in the windows, and why they chose such a lurid green for the window ledges. I am coming to the most exciting and dangerous part of the trip; crossing over Double Dykes Road. Double Dykes meets Argyle in what can be described as a three-way Y-shaped intersection. The traffic on Argyle never stops. The traffic on Double Dykes might slow down a bit. The angles of the Y are such that it is very difficult to see the traffic coming in both directions at once. Usually, I plunge across the road with reckless abandon, and I am still alive, so this method works.

With the difficult/interesting part of the trip past, my thought are entirely devoted to the pain in my shoulders. I consider my decision to bring my laptop into town with me: was it worth the weight it now seems to be, dragging me into the earth? I decide no. I decide not to bring it next time. I usually do. I move from consideration of my shoulders to my feet. Why did I wear these shoes, I wonder. What did I see in them this morning? This usually occupies my time until I get to St. Leonards Church, where I go on Sunday. It is a nice place full of friendly people. This takes my mind off mundane worries about the survival of the arm carrying the groceries.

Argyle Road soon turns into Buchannan Gardens. This is by far the longest and worst part of the walk. IT is tedious, and They are doing roadwork, so it smells like tar. It is lined all along the right side with playing fields which are usually occupied by various sporting people. As I pass the first playing field I admire the small, covered grandstand that looks like it was built in 1910. It only has three rows of benches. Then comes CREEM which stands for something like the Centre for Research on Environmental things. Next, I pass the playing field number two. This one is often filled with ferocious lacrosse playing girls in short skirts uttering loud yelps at one another while hurling the ball around and running vigourously. This all seems to mean something until the whistle blows and these furies all deflate: the ball drops, the noise and the running cease. In this field I notice in the corner, off to the side, what appears to be a cattle feed stand. I am unsure what to make of this. Then come the third playing fields. These are huge, with six soccer pitches all lit up at night. But in the day, if it is clear, you can see beyond them the highlands rising up, and the sea. The walk not seem interminable. I may not make it.

David Russell Hall comes into view! Hurrah! Almost there. I imagine living in David Russell. They say there are couches, and that the kitchens are big. I have even heard there are T.V.s. The residents have en-suite bathrooms; that is a fact. What would it be like, I wonder, to live in such luxury. Now, I could turn into David Russell and walk through the houses to arrive at mine from the back. This has the advantage of making you feel like you have arrived sooner, though in reality, it is the same as taking the 'long way'. I usually take the long way.

The long way continues up Buchannan Gardens. Past the bus stop and the house with all the magnificent yew trees. All along the sidewalk is grass, and even some trees. No one is ever seen to walk on this grass even if it would shave off a few wonderful minutes from the walk home. So I too stay on the sidewalk though it goes out of the way a bit. Now the depressing view of Fife Park arises. Despite the name, it is a desolate collection of grim grey row houses which do not in anyway resemble the grandeur called up by the name 'Park'. I reflect on this: one thinks of Mansfield Park, or perhaps Parkplace, or Park Avenue. All glamourous, grand images. I think of, "there seems to be a prettyish kind of a little wilderness on one side of your lawn"1 when someone mentions the word 'park'. I do not envision the squat, drab, little dwellings at Fife Park. There are, in fact, a few more densely planted trees just before the walk into the park. I cheat here and walk on the lawn. I try to take the straightest possible path to the bike rack thinking about Pythagoras and hypotenuses as I go. I pass the bike rack with its motley collection of injured bicycles and proceed to my door. Now I am arrived.
Home again home again jiggity jig!

1. Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

There is no escape from the Game

Today I sallied forth into the wild Scottish weather to attend a bible study that I suspected would be full of old people. This did indeed prove to be the case. (However, the study was very nice. It was on Titus. I like the Very Short Books of the Bible. I think they should be called that. We should do away with names like "the pastoral books" and refer to them as the VSBs. But I digress.) After the study was over, I walked part of the way home with one of the older women. She was an energetic lady who probably wasn't actually that old. She asked me, quite naturally, whether I was an Anglican or United church goer at home. I replied that I attended a Mennonite church and she, much to my surprise, was delighted. And what was her next question you ask? What would a Scottish Church of Scotland attendee like herself be interested in? Guess. "So what" she inquired, "is your last name?" *gasp* Alack and for pity! Even here, far far away from the bastions of the Mennonite faith and the places of Mennonite infestation, I cannot escape the Game.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Items of Notes

1. The British Cox is a very tasty eating apple
2. 'Don't walk on the grass' seems to be a universally understood and obeyed rule despite a)there being no signs to indicate the rule, b) the blank inviting-ness of the grass, and c) the quality of the lawns (generally low, certainly not meriting avoidance).
3. The woman in the pew in front of me on Sunday conveyed to me during the service that I did not sound Canadian. What does this unusual remark mean?
4. Today I tried out several new things; my umbrella, my raincoat, and the bus. All were found to be satisfactory.
5. It is ill advised to eat salt covered nachos, followed by salty flavour-packaged noodles, followed by rich, calorie enhanced, triple-layer Madeira walnut cake.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Progress is Prohibited

There are a surprising number of doors in this country. Big, solid, thick doors. They are very positive doors. Doors that are sure of their place and importance in the world. One might even venture to say that they are smug doors. And the role these doors delight in is to be closed. Closed with a gracious finality that is rather alarming. Now, of these doors, the firedoor occupies a special niche. These doors are the minions of the door world. They get opened so often, they don't have time to develop that particular permanent look that other doors have. The firedoors make up for this by exuding a sense of self importance and weighty discretion to inhibit the would-be door opener. "Don't open this one," these doors seem to say, "this door has been Closed On Purpose to keep Persons Such as Yourself out of Very Important Places that will only be Disturbed by the appearance of one such as you." The firedoor has a misplaced, inflated and intolerable sense of self worth that is particularly distressing for a habitually timid door opener like me. How am I supposed to get anywhere with these supercilious and puffed up apertures preventing my passage!?

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Wee Scottish Doughnuts

I am in Scotland and utterly alone. The weather was grim, my work goes slowly, and I feel hollowly. And so I find myself this night reading Duffy's Stripping of the Altars and drinking maudlin cups of peppermint tea while considering, as I eat, the curiously reassuring quality of Wee Scottish Doughnuts.