Airplane food
Airplane food is something special. At least, I seem to have a special relationship with it. I await the delivery of the airplane food with great anticipation. I know that is will probably be foul. However, like pain, while one knows this to be the case, one cannot quite remember the full impact it will have; I never seem to recall how gross it can be. So, I wait for it. Then, it is coming! The trolleys bearing food are shuffling down the aisle! What will the trolley bring? A pasta? A casserole? The excitement mounts. Finally, it arrives. The moment of discovery. I open the little brown box and find- a label announcing a roast beef dinner. I experience the first check in excitement. Doubt assails me: how could a roast beef dinner be contained in this puny little container? I peel back the plastic cover and realise the worst. The mind, which has inexplicably been expecting eatable food, reels in shock. I use my fork to tentatively push the indistinguishable white objects around in he sticky brown sauce with vain hope of discovering an identifying characteristic. Nothing. It has come to this, the taste test. Ahh, I think, of course! Overcooked steamed parsnip sticks! Naturally. And these? The ubiquitous perfectly spherical miniature potato. Having taken care of these items, I gaze with disapprobation at the impenetrable brown goo. The fork tells me that something lurks below. It is the "roast beef". Upon tasting, I find that it is in fact, three slices of what was probably roast beef deli meat at one time. I don't like roast beef deli meat -it has a peculiar sheen. However, I must admit that it is better before it has been doused in brown sludge and microwaved for too long, as this seems to make it simultaneously slimy and tough. I decide against both the roast beef and the parsnip sticks as food. Having eaten the spherical mini potatoes with some reluctance, I turn to the dessert. It looks innocuous. Perfectly innocent. It calls itself carrot cake. I like carrot cake. I am pleasantly surprised. I have some. I swallow with difficulty. It is not carrot cake. It is Oil cake coloured orange and with a slight aftertaste of dusty cinnamon. I put the orange oil cake in the brown goo since they are probably close relatives and put it out of my mind. So, as usual, I eat the bun. The bun can be relied upon. I close up my brown box, push it away, and begin to look forward to breakfast.
posted by miss machismo @ 11:19 AM
7 Comments:
I totally understand your feeling, the awaiting of the food in anticipation. However, I tend to sort of like the food they give me. Only sort of, though. I don't think I would even consider liking it if I tried to eat it at home, or any other place than in an airplane. But this very special kind of food sort of belongs to the experience of flying (long distances). And I sort of like flying too. Yes, it is definitely boring and uncomfortable (why would someone like to spend six hours crammed down in a small seat in between people they don't know?), but I sort of like it anyway. I think it is because it is something I have to go through to get somewhere I really want to go; I think I might be so excited about where the airplane experience is finally taking me, that I convince myself that I like flying and airplane food.
Yes, I like flying too. Nevermind about getting a numb bum from sitting so long, and the food (which as you rightly say) which would only be classified as such on the airplane and is acceptable due to its environment, it is still exciting. And relaxing. THe last bit of relaxing before the tiresome luggage hauling, customs going, passport checking, taxi hailing business to come once landed.
I also "enjoy" the airplane food but only in an ON THE AIRPLANE sense. I would not make it a habit to frequent establishments that served this sort of food. Unfortunately, with the introduction of that silly "snack" cart on Air Canada domestic flights, I have now come across airplane food that I detest, mostly the overpriced pre-made sandwiches ($5.00!). The best alternative is the ramen noodle cup ($2.00)...that is if you are lucky enough to not sit at the very back of the plane and be on a flight that only has 2 ramen noodle cups for 100 people.
har har!! I vividly remember with fondness the ONE time I had palatable airplane food.. I was on a Harmony airways flight and they gave me a square that acutally contained differing textures!!! (instead of the usual oil-sponge) It was the same fare one would expect at church after the service, but it so much resembled food, I savoured it with verve and intensity.
heeeheeehee! this is hilarious.
That's all, really.
You know, my fishy friend, you must become more discriminating. That is two hilariouses in a row.
Shut up; I'm totally discriminating. Did you ever think about the fact that perhaps it is YOU who must become less HILARIOUS?
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